By Josh Lockhart, PHEc
Christmas is on it’s away, and if you are anything like me, you still have lots of shopping to do.
I love Christmas shopping, because, well, I usually forget that I was shopping for someone and end up shopping for myself.
It is easy to shop for my daughter, for my mom, and sisters. But what I dread the most is shopping for my wife.
Shopping for a spouse can be so difficult because there is so much at stake. Think about it, especially men, if you bought her the wrong size shoes, dress, pants, the wrong perfume, or just plain bought her something you thought she’d like, but she really didn’t, you have just offended your spouse. We can all see the face of disappointment and disgust that says “you got me THIS for Christmas.”
There is a way to prevent this embarrassment. That is to create a wish list for your spouse. Put items down on a list that you would like to receive for Christmas, and make sure you show it to and give it to your spouse. Sure it may take away the surprise of opening up gifts, but at least you will get what you want. Plus, you will avoid the surprise of opening up something you don’t like.
Please, please know that there is no such thing as the “perfect” gift. It doesn’t exist. All that does is create stress and anxiety. Plus, imagine if you bought that “perfect” gift and you got that disgusted and shocked look, you will feel like you failed. So, both of you, don’t expect the perfect gift, and don’t expect to give the perfect gift.
If you do say to your spouse, “surprise me,” expect to be surprised and also accept the gift no matter what. You asked for a surprise, and you will get exactly what you asked for.
Also, avoid hint dropping. That is, loosely pointing out something you would like for Christmas. Such as saying “I’d love something that would keep me warm,” to you that may mean a new fleece jacket. However, to your spouse that may be a blanket with sleeves, a portable fireplace, a foot warmer, or a coffee maker.
Even if you have subtly told your spouse what you have wanted through hints, they will most likely forget it or it will get lost in translation. Your spouse can’t read your mind either, you need to let them know what you would like for Christmas.
That’s why it is important to make a list and give it to them. So Honey, I would like a Wii Fit, pants, the new Harry Potter movie, and the Carmen Rasmussen book. Thanks.
Josh is a columnist with the Battleford’s News Optimist and a Co-Author with Notes On Parenting. Josh is currently a graduate student in B.C. at Gonzaga University. You can learn more about Josh at his blog: Locking Hearts Together.